


Liquid Hydrogen

by Elevateirrelavate



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: M/M, authunity - Freeform, got the tags to work, obviously this is a fanfic with a lot of toxicity in that man damn, warning for swearing and some other stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29045376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elevateirrelavate/pseuds/Elevateirrelavate
Summary: Something so cold it feels hot, cold burns and frostbite. In the dark, there has to be something colder than the coldest substance and that's a young man's heart. In contrast, a person born in flames may be able to melt it; but first he has to set it awry. (a.k.a. don't bother with the summary because they are just both awkward as shit and that's what it's about, I actually don't know, don't count me on that.)
Relationships: Communist/White Identitarian | Nazi (Centricide)
Kudos: 8





	Liquid Hydrogen

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a bit and you can see my pain near the end. The original name for the chapter was American Coot and the Quokka, and I changed AnCap's name from Jack to Alistair. Other information is I don't know a lot of Russian and if there's a spelling mistake in my one Russian line please tell me because I only know French and English.

_If I were an icicle, sharp and pointed to the day I die, eventually melting or crashing to the ground then you would be an ongoing flame who lights everyone's day. A true figure of beauty, one that never wavers throughout false age. Your eyes, have been carved out of red Topaz, shiny and hard to get, piercing my eyes with your own causing thr world to split in time. We stand still while time stops for the two of us to recognize the windows in which we see through. I am noticing so many things about you just by looking at you, and from what I can tell; you spent way too much money on that jacket dispite hating capitalism. Do not think I did not notice through your pearly whites and old ushanka. A fool is only a fool if they refuse to notice, and I must say that even though your degeneracy is showing; I will take you for a spin._

_I take my hand out to invite him, my gloves were newly ironed and I couldn't believe I'd waste my time on a disgraceful person like him, but I wanted to. I felt not only the need, but the urge to get closer to him. I could have chosen any one else, but I couldn't exactly move my head to recognize anyone. A thousand thoughts rush in but I forgot them in a second as he took my hand. Almost like a dream to me, my body felt startled in a good way. Pulling me closer, he looked straight at me with welcoming eyes and a lovely full fledged smile that closed me in. A jacket newly bought, it smelt of Valentino and expensive stores, meaning it probably wasn't washed before he wore it. Kölnisch wasser, not really his best choice of it but merely the most extravagant, citrus oils and everything. In my head it didn't seem like something he'd wear, though it's not like I knew him. He started to waver though, quirking to a certain state of anxiety that spread across his face in a matter of seconds. That soft facial expression becoming matted, almost shamed. He seemed to space from me, I could feel the grasp he had was draining away. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I couldn't open my mouth to do it._

_"Я не умею танцевать.. (I cannot dance..)"_

_I heard what he said, but not really, it was if it was a picture that came and went. It went through my ear and out the other, not knowing what he said was my fault but I didn't know his language. You were even worse than I thought, not sharing my language, and not fitting my image of a perfect person in the slightest but you were tantalizing so I'll excuse it just this once. The lights start to dim down, it felt like a theater show where the curtains closed for intermission. He gazed at me apologetically, looking at the clock on the side of the wall. It was time for us to go, but I couldn't accept that. It merely felt like minutes, not four hours and I cannot just leave him here alone but it did not matter I did not let my time go to waste. I hold onto his hand, running down the halls like two madmen but through the polished floor I could see his delighted face, and I almost smiled back though something inside of me prevented that. We ended up at the back of the mansion, but it seemed as if he already knew where we were. It was his mansion, and that was his ballroom but then why was his jacket merely newly bought and not washed? Silken, gracious smile and I wondered if I could have that beauty. I knew if that were me, beautiful would become belletristic. Smoothly sinking, my stomach grows a pit that stops me from moving. We are both at the edge of the wall, and I realize we're so close together.. I don't want to miss any chance of this because I may not see him again. He moves my hair to the back of my ear as our faces move forward-_

-

It went cold. My eyes were open and I was stuck in this cold sweat as someone poked me awake. Gross hands, awful, not my kind of species hands. Glimmering like a Hollywood movie, was standing at the side of my bed. Alistair of course, as stupid as he is, he's still a rightist I guess. My heavy weighted head moved to the side and Alistair stopped poking me like a total idiot. I moved upward, way too fast, making my vision fuzzy around me as Alistair hit my back hardly.

"Well I'm glad you're awake!" Alistair exclaimed with his fake ass smile, while trying to seem real with his gold plated smile and slick hair. He was no more real than those cardboard cutouts of people. In my eyes he's an absolutely horrendous version of a human being, though he still possess' an okay worldview.

I look around my room with my half shut eyes. It was a full, ungrateful shade of blue that made me curl up inside, shelving that was black which held all my gaming systems and holes in the wall from when I got mad. I realized I couldn't do that anymore because Jay's bedroom is right there and Alistair threatened to charge me every time I did that. Speaking of Alistair he was still right next to my bed and him sitting there was annoying the shit out of me.

"What do you want?" I spat, clenching my fists like he clenched his money. He did the stupid predictable smile, but I was paranoid so it looked more malicious. His hand glazed across my nigh table to help himself up, he shook his hand since it was dusty, but it had almost a grimy texture.

"Jay complained to me," Alistair's eyes darted back and forth between me and the door, "that you were talking in your sleep."

As he said that, my vision started to tune out like an old broken radio. I remembered my dream right then and there, it was disgusting to me that that sort of thing showed up in my dream but it was just a dream and nothing more. Distorting, my face scowled at him as he looked right back at me. Just because my hair is greasy, doesn't mean you should think of me any less than a perfect being. I opened my mouth to ask what I said but Alistair was already a step ahead of me.

"I don't know a thing about what you said, but Jay must've because qui was adamant about it."

My main goal right now, first and foremost, was to find Jay and ask _qui_ what I said in my sleep. It seemed pathetic, but it is important to keep that pathetic, mediocre bi- person out of my way, and to keep that false part of me away. It was false because I am the one and only true human. I moved my comforter out of the way, getting up onto my feet. Alistair waves his way out of the room while I close the door to get dressed. My uniform was ironed the day before, looking as clean as always. Who ironed it? I put on my hat and left the room into the hallway. This was the cross intersection of all the rooms and it was rather difficult to get through here right in the morning so-

'.. _melting or crashing to the ground.._ '

-the communist set up a time where everyone can get up at their own pace. I knocked on Jay's door, almost belting on it like it was my last lifeline. Clicking, I soothly hear the door unlock. Footsteps stopped in their tracks as Jay opened the door a crack to look at who was there. The only person there was me.

"Hey, what's it?" Jay asked, not moving from _qui's_ spot, neither opening or closing the door any more than it was.

"Alistair, was worried about what I said in my sleep."

"I don't remember, don't bo-"

 _Qui_ turns around and makes a low shushing noise. I didn't bother looking behind _qui_ but I could tell that other people were in the room. At the same time, there was a hand placed on me and I looked at the person. A sincere face mirrored back at me, and my whole body shivered. I can't do this, the Slav is right there and it would be pathetic if I couldn't speak right.

"Comrade, Jay wasn't the one who heard anything but I don't know why Alistair would be interested."

Right in my face, he smiled greatly at me even though it didn't have to do with the content. I was stuck in my place, but I have to get out. I have to get out because this is disgusting, he is vile-

"Comrade?"

Am I foaming at the mouth? Talk, just talk to him he's not important at all in general. I am a hundred times better than any of them. I cross my arms, scowling, and Joseph's shoulders softened. Was he worried, about me being worried or did he just expect me to be mad? It was most likely the latter. He took his hand off of me, pointing himself away Jay's room to the hallway. I followed him, the weak floorboards squeaking as the boards had us walking on them. The kitchen in which he led me to was no better mind you, it reminded me of the state of a McDonalds playplace. I don't think anyone cleans it besides Joseph but he's busy a lot of the time with fixing every other issue in our house like the four other people living in Jay's bedroom and our roof.

Jay is a degenerate, keeping four rats in the house and only one person helps from that group and it isn't Jay. Alistair is a greedy asshole who will steal my money from my pockets if I misgender Jay, or better yet, if I got his clothes dirty. He'll steal right under you. Joseph was.. well Joseph is the worst person of the bunch, not caring about how anyone feels and oversharing like a bitch. I didn't want to hear him ramble on for an hour about theory, I want to get to the motherfucking door.

He stared at me as I walked through the doorway, rocking back and forth like a fourth grader presenting an oral presentation but not in the funny way. He also did this thing with his mouth, where he would lip-sync a song when he was nervous. He seemed to be nervous at the moment, turning his back to wipe the unclean (almost bacteria infested) table with an old, raggedy cloth. He gleefully grabs a bowl full of some food inside and it had a weird consistency to it. He placed it right in front of me, eyes glowing as if it was an accomplishment. My voice lets out a scoff as I take a spoon to it. It's like porridge, at least it looks and kind of tastes like it without the oat-like choice.

"This tastes like shit." I grumbled, getting up out of my chair and almost leaving the room until he caught my wrist. His glare was courageously corrupt, it was a mixed emotion of nervousness and sadness that messed with me as the room spun. 

"Do you really think so, James?"

Twisting with unknown feelings, he asked once again, even more desperately.

"Do you think so?"

Please don't say my name, I ate too fast and now I'm in the middle of hoping I don't fall to the ground. I could see the floor, the black and white checkers smeared into a thick gray. Joseph led me back to my room, though I couldn't see much except the grim expression he was making through the almost straight-faced expression he was trying to make. Unblurred, unscathed and a liar, I look around my room once again but an unfamiliar figure was there. No, wait, it was Joseph again, pacing the hallway as if he wasn't allowed in my room. I could see in his posture that he saw me move and walked slowly to the frame.

"It was alright."

I closed my eyes, awaiting what he'd say to that. If anything at all. Clipping through all the noises was his shoes, closer to my bed. He doesn't say anything so I open my eyes once again, but catching a glimpse of him next to me made me uncomfortable. He doesn't know does he?

"I know you wanted to know, but you said something last night.."

Moving forward, head in hands I await the bad news I'm about to get.

"Hilarious, comrade, it's okay if you can't dance."

Beaming, it caught me more than his words. I couldn't describe very well what he was doing, but I think he was trying to comfort me with the fact I said something stupid from my dream. I understood the context as it was my dream, but it wasn't me who couldn't dance.. It was him.

"Wait what-"


End file.
